Imagine yourself on your way to bed, and you are about to sleep when suddenly, you saw a picture in your bed. Chubby cheeks, short haired and a smile that makes your heart melt. Basically, you saw a picture of you in your childhood days. Yes, the flashbacks. You get it right.

Seriously speaking, the purpose that is why I'm writing right now is because of the stupid fact that I'm really really sad and disappointed. No words can ever express the feeling that I have inside.

Sometimes I wondered why change is the only thing forever in this world. I moved on in my life too many times but after some time, when everything seems to be a failure, it makes me want to travel time again and make a change in the past. Yes, I really wish I could really turn back time, if only. Not because I want them or not because I don't want to see that other things that might come my way.. It's just that, I moved on with life but my life before seems to be a lot BETTER than it was today.

If only. :( Sana kaya ko na lang ulitin ang panahon para di nangyayari sa akin to ngayon. I know there's something wrong kaya gusto ko itama. Alam kong nagkamali ako at inaamin ko naman, pero to think that other people hates me for my mistakes or for my wrongdoings, it makes me feel useless. Gusto ko gumawa ng pagbabago pero nawalan na ako ng gana at lakas ng loob. Bakit? Kasi alam kong hindi na niya, at nila maiintindihan. Ang hirap ng feeling na gusto mo iapproach yung mga tao sa paligid mo pero you don't have the guts because they're showing a "BIG NO" sign to you. At ang hirap ng isipin na napakaunfair ng mundo, kasi.. kung sino pang gustong magbago, hindi nabibigyan ng chance. At masakit isipin na, ang dating tao sandalan mo, sya na mismo ang taong tinutulak ka palayo sa kanya ngayon at tinatapakan ka. Pakiramdam ko tinatapakan na yung pagkatao ko. Sakit pala non.

Sana naiintindihan ko pa ang sarili ko ngayon, kasi kahit ako, hindi na clear sa utak ko yung gagawin ko. I know I'll be fine soon pero sa ngayon? Hindi ko alam. Magulo. Alam ko naman rin na matatapos tong mga to, pero ewan.. Hindi naman ako nagsisi sa mga nangyayari sakin. I just want them back. Ang hirap kasi talaga mag-effort sa isang bagay tas sa huli, mawawala lang rin sayo. Ang hirap maniwala na it was what you needed and wanted all along tas kahit anong pilit mo, wala pa rin. Naiintindihan ko naman na may iba pang opportunities e, pero believe me, it sucks when you know you let go of the best. :(





Sana bata na lang ulit ako, hindi na sana ako tumanda kung alam ko lang na ganito ako mafufrustrate sa buhay. Pilitin ko man pumikit na lang, tutulo lang yung luha ko ulit. Sana naayos lahat ng sira, at wala na yung lamat pag nabalik. Paikot ikot lang eh, nakakapagod na. Gusto ko na rin magpahinga.


Paano nga ba?