joseph
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
things will never be the same again. I think this was the beginning of our end.
to tell you honestly, when I was a 11 year old child while I was in grade 5. I never thought of what love is. I never had an idea of how falling in love was. but then, things are always changing as they will. ang this how my story goes. June 23, 2004. It was dismissal time. but this guy came into picture. came into my world and brought change.
boy: miss, pakalog.
girl: magkano po?
boy: kahit magkano.
girl: *kumapa sa bulsa.*
boy: wow. 10 pesos? bait mo naman. tara!
girl: saan po?
boy: sa labas. lilibre kita.
*after lumabas*
boy: libre kita ice cream. 5 pesos naman eh. tig-isa tayo.
girl: o sige po. salamat.
boy: okay lang. pinakalog mo ko ehh. anung pangalan mo?
girl: joy po.
boy: ahh. ako si joseph.
- - -
after that instance this guy became my friend. I was in grade 5 he was in grade 6. we started greeting each other. added each other on friendster, our YM messenger list and somehow knowing each other's phone number. I started to liked him that time. naalala ko pa dati. pag flag ceremony namin at papasok siya ng late kasabay yung kuya niya, my classmates will always tease me while we are singing. kaya napapagalitan kami. haha. so, I remembered and I am missing those days. haha.
that school year was the start of our friendship. sometimes, pag naglalaro siya ng basketball and I was sitting in the corridor he would sit next to me then he will tell a lot os stories like a child na super daldal. naalala ko, chubby pa siya nun. napaka-isip bata pa rin. all was in his head was basketball. basketball. he was the drummer of the drum and lyre band and I was a lyrist. haha. that's why during weekends kahit papaano may paguusap pa rin kami. haha. he was so friendly to other people. and that's what I liked about him. he graduated in elementary and he is.. my crush. :)
- - -
but again. things are constantly changing. It was his birthday July 2005 when I planned to greet him through a letter [the letter says that I am greeting him and that I want to thank him for the friendship we had.] He was in first year then and I was in grade six. when, I gave him the letter he smiled. upon knowing, after their lunch was their math time (their math teacher was same as ours) then he was reading my letter during math period and boom. our math teacher got it. oh hell, that sucks. after that day. my adviser gave me back that letter and tld me not to write letters to boys anymore because it seems like I was making a first move.
I cried. I cried because of it. It was my first time to cry about him. the effect of that incident? everything has changed. It was the start of our seldom talk. It was the start of feeling uneasy about each other. but still, he was my crush. and will always be.
while he was in his freshmen year, my best friend started to got irritated at his characters and traits. some of my friends though of him as 'pacool and mayabang' but though he was that kind. I was the one apologizing for my best friend and friends. that time, I realized I am starting to fall in love. I started to accepting the negative about him. of all the mistakes he did. and I am starting to fight for him.
I graduted elementary and he was still my crush.
- - -
My freshmen year came and he was already a sophomore. He was one of the best things that made my freshmen year a great and memorable one. though, we just talk seldomly. I really really knew that it was love I am feeling towards him. from the start I never expect anything for the two of us. I just told myself that I will show him and let him feel on what I feel for him until the end. and I promised myself that I will just stop by the time he will be taken.
and so, I found out he was courting this girl. the girl that studies at the same school but mind you, we were last classmates when we are in Grade One. Stupidity. so there, he was courting this batchmate of mine. It was fine with me. It is normal for boys to court a girl. but then, I realized sooner as time goes by that his love was also strong for the girl. If you really knew how heaven and earth crushed me that time. I wished things will be normal again. so, I told myself I just wait for the right time that he will appreciate the things I've done for him.
As I became more mature. He was still there for me. I got suspended, he was there. I got low grades, he was there. I am down with sadness just a text message from him could save my day. He was one of the people that I always pray to God will guide. I always prayed that however he can change for the better. I'd be very happy eventhough I cannot change him and other people can. I can wait until the changes about hi will be in good purpose. every night, I asked God to give me the strength to adopt opposite charateristics with this guy.
No one really never knew how to feel. I sacrificed a lot of things for him. I always guide him whenever he needs help. I always try to change hin for the better but not all. I always forgave the shortcomings he has done to me. I always understand that I love him do I should respect him and accept whoever the hell he/she was.
but before my freshmen year ended. I found out. that the girl he was courting and him was in the Mutual Understanding stage, that sucks so I cried. I cried a lot of times because of him. My friends told me he was not handsome. panget. mayabang and all those negative things just to bring him down. but I always try to defend him.
whenever I have time. I am fixing his locker. I mean, the books. Such a mess. haha. But it was surely okay for me.
My summer this year was kinda lonely. telling myself to find another person, though I met Rocky he was not the one I was looking for but the guy who taught me the beauty of falling in love.
Sophomore year came. he was already a junior. 3 years had passed but then, he was still here in my heart, can you find me a reason why I keep on holding on? answer is simple and it is for you to think. for this last two months of being a sophie and being him as my crush and the guy I fell in love with for 3 years I always had fun. Everyday of seeing him motivates me to excel more in my studies. almost everyone knows who the hell he was and I was not ashamed of telling it. Some people say na parang somehow, this guy started to liked me. but no, he was too loyal for the one he loves.
And how I wished I can skip july 17, 2007. The guy I liked so much was already taken by somebody else. :(( Yes, it was reality. have to face it. after my three years on longing desire heaven and earth broke my heart into pieces.
- - - -
so now, you already know why the hell im typing this one. I am so sorry. I just can't find the right person to talk with this one and also, I am telling all my thoughts about him. I'll try to move away. so now, I'll clear my mind about him.
Joseph Borja Abundo was his name. he was the best guy I've found for the 14 years of my life. he was the guy I thought I was looking for. He was the guy I sacrifced a lot of things just to prove things. he was the sporty guy that turns to be a varsity and liga hearthrob. he was the guy who fails in Math but always try to understands the lesson. He was the guy na pasaway at maingay sa klase but then sweet in his own side. He was the guy na sobrang tamad minsan pumasok but always says sorry for someone he has hurted. I thought I can still wait for him but I cant. He loves somebody right now. and this someboday loves him too so much. Yes, I want and need him badly but then, things are bound to happen. He wasn't meant for me at all. I just came to realize that love should always be shared by two people. Yes you can love someone who never loves you back but It is the hell hurts. All you can do, was to accept things when they are finally over.
what will I miss about him? ICE CREAM. the number eleven. his smile. his hard laughs. the way he speaks. the way he cares. YM conversations. his childish actions. maharot actions. TAKAW. "batang nike". "psst kindat flying kiss". "miss". "joy, pahiram calcu." fixing his locker. staring at him. "pakalog". "mcdonald's noveleta." his hand writing. his exam papers. the way he was. the way he changed me. the sweetness in him. the pasaway in him. 'batang uhaw' about him. his braces. "Ms. O". his tribal shirt. hot fudge sundae. SHUSHIBEE. thinking of him as koko krunch. TEAZERS at Glorrietta. his converse apparels and lastly, his name. joseph.
By now, I know this thing will happen. problem is, I was not ready to face this thing at this point of time. But I learned a lot from him. three years was long enough. I love him so much that no one can barely explain. I love him so much that only God can reveal. I love him so much that I can let him go and set him free, he is happy already with what he has and I should be.
I thanks God for letting me find a better person than him. Maybe God wants me to wait for the right person for me. Maybe he knows I deserve more than I want. I'll just be happy for what Joseph has came to be. One day I'll see he will again in front of me, we'll be friends again as way want ot used to be, and for the last time. I will miss everything about you. Remember that Joy Angelie R. Orio loved you once in her life. Be happy as I am happy for you. Always pray and take care. I LOVED YOU. GOODBYE. :]
*crying*
to tell you honestly, when I was a 11 year old child while I was in grade 5. I never thought of what love is. I never had an idea of how falling in love was. but then, things are always changing as they will. ang this how my story goes. June 23, 2004. It was dismissal time. but this guy came into picture. came into my world and brought change.
boy: miss, pakalog.
girl: magkano po?
boy: kahit magkano.
girl: *kumapa sa bulsa.*
boy: wow. 10 pesos? bait mo naman. tara!
girl: saan po?
boy: sa labas. lilibre kita.
*after lumabas*
boy: libre kita ice cream. 5 pesos naman eh. tig-isa tayo.
girl: o sige po. salamat.
boy: okay lang. pinakalog mo ko ehh. anung pangalan mo?
girl: joy po.
boy: ahh. ako si joseph.
- - -
after that instance this guy became my friend. I was in grade 5 he was in grade 6. we started greeting each other. added each other on friendster, our YM messenger list and somehow knowing each other's phone number. I started to liked him that time. naalala ko pa dati. pag flag ceremony namin at papasok siya ng late kasabay yung kuya niya, my classmates will always tease me while we are singing. kaya napapagalitan kami. haha. so, I remembered and I am missing those days. haha.
that school year was the start of our friendship. sometimes, pag naglalaro siya ng basketball and I was sitting in the corridor he would sit next to me then he will tell a lot os stories like a child na super daldal. naalala ko, chubby pa siya nun. napaka-isip bata pa rin. all was in his head was basketball. basketball. he was the drummer of the drum and lyre band and I was a lyrist. haha. that's why during weekends kahit papaano may paguusap pa rin kami. haha. he was so friendly to other people. and that's what I liked about him. he graduated in elementary and he is.. my crush. :)
- - -
but again. things are constantly changing. It was his birthday July 2005 when I planned to greet him through a letter [the letter says that I am greeting him and that I want to thank him for the friendship we had.] He was in first year then and I was in grade six. when, I gave him the letter he smiled. upon knowing, after their lunch was their math time (their math teacher was same as ours) then he was reading my letter during math period and boom. our math teacher got it. oh hell, that sucks. after that day. my adviser gave me back that letter and tld me not to write letters to boys anymore because it seems like I was making a first move.
I cried. I cried because of it. It was my first time to cry about him. the effect of that incident? everything has changed. It was the start of our seldom talk. It was the start of feeling uneasy about each other. but still, he was my crush. and will always be.
while he was in his freshmen year, my best friend started to got irritated at his characters and traits. some of my friends though of him as 'pacool and mayabang' but though he was that kind. I was the one apologizing for my best friend and friends. that time, I realized I am starting to fall in love. I started to accepting the negative about him. of all the mistakes he did. and I am starting to fight for him.
I graduted elementary and he was still my crush.
- - -
My freshmen year came and he was already a sophomore. He was one of the best things that made my freshmen year a great and memorable one. though, we just talk seldomly. I really really knew that it was love I am feeling towards him. from the start I never expect anything for the two of us. I just told myself that I will show him and let him feel on what I feel for him until the end. and I promised myself that I will just stop by the time he will be taken.
and so, I found out he was courting this girl. the girl that studies at the same school but mind you, we were last classmates when we are in Grade One. Stupidity. so there, he was courting this batchmate of mine. It was fine with me. It is normal for boys to court a girl. but then, I realized sooner as time goes by that his love was also strong for the girl. If you really knew how heaven and earth crushed me that time. I wished things will be normal again. so, I told myself I just wait for the right time that he will appreciate the things I've done for him.
As I became more mature. He was still there for me. I got suspended, he was there. I got low grades, he was there. I am down with sadness just a text message from him could save my day. He was one of the people that I always pray to God will guide. I always prayed that however he can change for the better. I'd be very happy eventhough I cannot change him and other people can. I can wait until the changes about hi will be in good purpose. every night, I asked God to give me the strength to adopt opposite charateristics with this guy.
No one really never knew how to feel. I sacrificed a lot of things for him. I always guide him whenever he needs help. I always try to change hin for the better but not all. I always forgave the shortcomings he has done to me. I always understand that I love him do I should respect him and accept whoever the hell he/she was.
but before my freshmen year ended. I found out. that the girl he was courting and him was in the Mutual Understanding stage, that sucks so I cried. I cried a lot of times because of him. My friends told me he was not handsome. panget. mayabang and all those negative things just to bring him down. but I always try to defend him.
whenever I have time. I am fixing his locker. I mean, the books. Such a mess. haha. But it was surely okay for me.
My summer this year was kinda lonely. telling myself to find another person, though I met Rocky he was not the one I was looking for but the guy who taught me the beauty of falling in love.
Sophomore year came. he was already a junior. 3 years had passed but then, he was still here in my heart, can you find me a reason why I keep on holding on? answer is simple and it is for you to think. for this last two months of being a sophie and being him as my crush and the guy I fell in love with for 3 years I always had fun. Everyday of seeing him motivates me to excel more in my studies. almost everyone knows who the hell he was and I was not ashamed of telling it. Some people say na parang somehow, this guy started to liked me. but no, he was too loyal for the one he loves.
And how I wished I can skip july 17, 2007. The guy I liked so much was already taken by somebody else. :(( Yes, it was reality. have to face it. after my three years on longing desire heaven and earth broke my heart into pieces.
- - - -
so now, you already know why the hell im typing this one. I am so sorry. I just can't find the right person to talk with this one and also, I am telling all my thoughts about him. I'll try to move away. so now, I'll clear my mind about him.
what will I miss about him? ICE CREAM. the number eleven. his smile. his hard laughs. the way he speaks. the way he cares. YM conversations. his childish actions. maharot actions. TAKAW. "batang nike". "psst kindat flying kiss". "miss". "joy, pahiram calcu." fixing his locker. staring at him. "pakalog". "mcdonald's noveleta." his hand writing. his exam papers. the way he was. the way he changed me. the sweetness in him. the pasaway in him. 'batang uhaw' about him. his braces. "Ms. O". his tribal shirt. hot fudge sundae. SHUSHIBEE. thinking of him as koko krunch. TEAZERS at Glorrietta. his converse apparels and lastly, his name. joseph.
By now, I know this thing will happen. problem is, I was not ready to face this thing at this point of time. But I learned a lot from him. three years was long enough. I love him so much that no one can barely explain. I love him so much that only God can reveal. I love him so much that I can let him go and set him free, he is happy already with what he has and I should be.
I thanks God for letting me find a better person than him. Maybe God wants me to wait for the right person for me. Maybe he knows I deserve more than I want. I'll just be happy for what Joseph has came to be. One day I'll see he will again in front of me, we'll be friends again as way want ot used to be, and for the last time. I will miss everything about you. Remember that Joy Angelie R. Orio loved you once in her life. Be happy as I am happy for you. Always pray and take care. I LOVED YOU. GOODBYE. :]
*crying*
Labels: farewell, frustrations, happy memories, heartbroken, jba
